Town to make a plan to monitor town properties
By Will Collette
Town Council Vice-President “Deputy Dan” Slattery is pursuing his latest passion – hunting down all of the town’s various and sundry lands and putting them under surveillance.
Deputy Dan is responding to overwhelming demand from the public – consisting of fellow CCA leader Virginia Wooten asking what the town was doing about monitoring all its various properties at two sessions of Slattery’s “Citizens Forums.” I mean you can't go anywhere in town without seeing groups of people in urgent conversations about all our unmonitored town property.
So, on Wednesday, November 9, there will be a Special (very special) Town Council joint meeting with the Conservation Commission to discuss this crisis.
 |
| I've got dibs! One of the many town properties - a street drain at White Tail Circle. |
As Virginia Wooten pointed out in her impassioned testimony, anything could be happening on those lands.
And Deputy Dan is going to make sure he puts a stop to it, whatever it is. Kids could be out there smoking cigarettes or necking. People could be gathering firewood. Iran could be preparing a nuclear weapons test site. Whether it’s moonshine stills, illegal toxic waste dumping, witch’s covens or clandestine wind turbines, Deputy Dan will protect us.
In advance of the November 9 meeting, the town has prepared what is, I’m sure, just a partial inventory of the various pieces of land owned by the town.
 |
| This could be you as a member of the Charlestown Open Space Cadets! |
The big unanswered question is “what next?” What will the town do to make sure that each and every one of these parcels is inventoried – every stick, stone and shrub – put under constant surveillance and protected from incursions from outsiders who want to steal our rocks and despoil our open space?
I had suggested when this topic first came up that Deputy Dan should recruit a band of Charlestown Open Space Cadets to take on this thankless job. I am especially concerned about careful monitoring of the various drains listed on the inventory.
Deputy Dan would command the Open Space Cadets, of course, having years of experience in command as a federal bureaucrat and President of the Charlestown Citizens Alliance.
 |
| Abandoned town dump at Narrow Lane - the town actually wants to STOP monitoring it |
OK, so I’m cracking a lot of jokes, maybe insulting to well-meaning Deputy Dan and not so nice to especially well-meaning Virginia Wooten.
But Charlestown Charlestown
We do not have sufficient police force personnel to respond to every citizen demand for special patrols on their streets, never mind to patrol the woods against evil-doers. We do not have the staff at Parks and Recreation to do it. We do not have the staff, period.
 |
| Nobody has stepped up to become Charlestown Tree Warden despite the cool suit |
We like our low tax rate, right? How many people – really – does Deputy Dan think it will take to do what Virginia Wooten wants?
The answer: more than what we’ve got. A lot more.
And can we get enough volunteers to do it? For the answer, check out the list read at every Town Council meeting of all the unfilled positions on the various town commissions, committees and boards.
The Planning Commission pushed the town to enact a public tree ordinance that depended on a volunteer Tree Warden backed up by a volunteer Tree Committee for enforcement. The town passed the ordinance. Now, nobody has volunteered to be Tree Warden (even though it comes with a whistle and a neat uniform) and nobody has volunteered to be on the Tree Committee.
What makes Deputy Dan that the mission of monitoring all the town-owned properties will work out any better?
