We’ll miss you…and Rick Perry, too (whenever)
Well, the sage voters of Iowa in their cozy little Republican caucuses picked Mitt Romney, a man with no fixed convictions, by the tiniest of margins over Rick Santorum, a man with such burning convictions that if President he would burn heretics in the public square of every village. And then there’s Ron Paul, coming in behind with his usual core of supporters who believe whatever crazy thing he says. It’s going to be a long and very bad year.
The caucus results were enough to cause Tea Party whacko Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) to end her campaign. You may have already had the chance to use your DVR to zip by her remarks on TV.
I was much more interested in her uniquely Bachmannesque pre-Caucus, last-ditch TV buy and the bye-bye Bachmann remarks by Rhode Island’s own mini-Michele, Rep. Doreen Costa (R-Tea Party).
First, Bachmann’s last-minute TV buy. She really – and I swear I’m not making this up – compared herself to Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow, whose team squeaked into the post-season play-offs despite Tebow and his inability to make it through a game without fumbling or getting intercepted.
Bachmann says in her ad, "the establishment sports guys love to hate Tim Tebow: he's not smart enough, his mechanics are no good, he's not accurate enough — still, he just keeps winning." NOT. After losing their last game, the Broncos made it into the play-offs with an 8-8 record as a total fluke.
The main commonalities between Bachmann and Tebow are their fanatical evangelism, uber-right wing politics and frequent gaffes.
First-term Republican Representative Doreen Costa, who told me she was a fanatically devoted Red Sox fan, had nothing to say about Tebow after her one-time hero (and potential ticket to a Bachmann Administration Cabinet post) made her withdrawal speech.
But Costa did say “She's doing the right thing and Jon Huntsman and Newt Gingrich should do the same thing and let the top three fight it out in New Hampshire."
The problem with Costa’s logic, such as it is, is that the list of the top three Republicans tends to change from day-to-day, although Romney is always in there with his tepid 20-25% and Ron Paul is always either in or hovering near the top three with his fanatical core of 15-20%.
While I will miss Michele Bachmann and all the incredible things she has said during the course of this campaign season, we still are fortunate to have Rick Perry in the field to provide comic relief.
Though after getting his ass whipped in Iowa, Perry said he was going back to Texas to think about whether to quit, he decided pretty quickly – in fact the following morning – that he was going to stay in through the South Carolina primary.
Yippee-ki-yi-yeah!
For once, Rick Perry may be coldly analyzing the facts and may have come to the conclusion that once he quits, he’s toast.
He has made such a fool of himself that nobody will ever pay attention to him again. But now that Herman Cain is long gone, and Bachmann has bit the dust, he gets to be head clown. He will never again have such an opportunity.