by Patrick Luce
A Very Taser Christmas
Police arrived to the house of a 56-year-old North Kingstown man after he allegedly assaulted a woman while highly intoxicated. Apparently, the man’s very un-Christmas behavior wasn’t exclusive to the woman he allegedly assaulted. After flicking a lit cigarette at one officer, the shirtless man (yes, shirtless) was Tasered. The man was Tasered two additional times after becoming increasingly violent. When it was all said and done, the man had allegedly assaulted four officers (shoving one officer’s arm through a window) and racked up eight misdemeanors in the process.
Not That Kind of Waste Basket
One woman apparently took the phrase “waste basket” too literally this past week in East Greenwich. A manager of a tanning salon in town reported a customer had urinated in the trash can of one of the tanning rooms. Though the manager did not catch the customer in the act, she said it looked and smelled like urine. The next day, the customer returned and police talked to her. While she denied the alleged urination, she signed a no-trespass order for the salon.
Drunk Off Nacho Cheese?
Granted DUIs are not uncommon, but DUIs covered in a “significant amount of nacho-type cheese”are a different story entirely. Two officers in the midst of a traffic stop allegedly saw a 30-year-old Warwick man crash into a parked car on Park Avenue and try to flee the scene…with only three wheels. Missing a wheel, the man’s car was leaking a “hazardous amount” of engine fluid and was smoking considerably. When speaking with the man, who appeared to be intoxicated, officers noted there was a significant amount of “nacho-type cheese” inside the car and on the man’s face, hair and clothing. He was charged with drunken driving and failure to submit to a chemical test.
And the Award for the Worst Birthday/Christmas Present Goes to…
We’ve always felt bad for people whose birthdays fall on Christmas. But, we feel especially bad for one 41-year-old Woonsocket man this year. Born on December 25, 1970, this man reportedly found out that his girlfriend of four years had been cheating on him…on his birthday…on Christmas. Naturally, the man — who had apparently been drinking at the time when he found out about his girlfriend’s indiscretions — reportedly began to punch holes in the walls of his apartment building. When police arrived at the man’s residence, he told them he wanted to be arrested and explained the situation.
A Man Who Carries a Big Stick…Swears a Lot in Public?
When a Tiverton man accidentally honked his car horn last week, one man took great offense. Like,really great offense. The Tiverton man, who was dropping off his daughter at school, said that a 36-year-old man began swearing at him after the horn went off, all in front of the man’s teenage daughter. When the father drove past the area again, the disgruntled man was still there and, as the father slowed down, he allegedly grabbed a large stick and chased him on foot. The man later told police that he was “off the streets of Pawtucket and doesn’t take [expletive] from anyone.”