Planning Commission plan more fun for Wednesday

Can’t get enough

For more P.S. Mueller, go to PSMueller.com

By Will Collette

On Wednesday, Charlestown’s monthly exercise in futility will take place at Town Hall at 7 PM. I’m talking about the monthly regular meeting of those crafty commissioners of the Charlestown Planning Commission.

The meeting will also be shown live on Clerkbase so you can watch it at home in your PJs with a good, stiff drink in your hand. Or watch it later, similarly attired and equipped.

And you’re going to need it because a bunch of Planning Commission favorites will be on the list, among them the request from the Charlestown Land Trust to the Commission, asking for “advice” on how to concoct another dishonest land appraisal of the derelict YMCA campground, except this time, the Land Trust wants to get an appraisal that is at least “plausible.” See my more detailed account of this shady deal by clicking here.

The Planning Commission will also take up – again, again, again and again – their own special Flying Dutchman, the never-ending saga of their dark sky ordinance.

They have two development proposals to discuss – these come first and usually chew up about an hour or so as the plucky planners subject the proponents of each project to as much torture as they can get away with.

They will also discuss their little research project, which is to hire a consultant who will analyze data on low-income affordable housing efforts in the three Chariho towns. They are no doubt hoping to hire a consultant who has a talent for torturing data until it says what the CCA wants it to say – which is that there are no affordable housing problems in our area.

The ever-generous commissioners will also evaluate and prioritize the list of potential awardees for Community Development Block Grants.

And they will also review two pieces of legislation currently before the General Assembly that would, if passed, affect zoning. One of them is the reincarnation of the CCA’s most feared monster under the bed, Rep. Ray Gallison’s bill on zoning density.

It’s hard to tell how far the PC will get through this agenda. Since Planning Commissar Ruth Platner runs a terrible meeting and usually can’t manage the time very well, I doubt they will do justice to each topic.

The two most serious matters, in my opinion, are the new YMCA camp appraisal and the dark sky ordinance.

Just pretend these don't exist

Both of these matters are issues the Planning Commission has dealt with often – and badly.

The YMCA deal – for those of our readers who have been in Tasmania for the last six months – is the shady deal whereby the town of Charlestown has been hoodwinked into giving the Charlestown Land Trust $475,000 to buy a worthless conservation easement.

The Land Trust will take the town taxpayers’ $475,000 and combine it with $367,000 in state taxpayer money, plus the proceeds of the Land Trust’s last bake sale, and they will give it to the Westerly YMCA to buy the old Y camp.

Just the town’s and the state’s money alone totals $842,000. The sale price of the camp is $730,000. The excess $112,000, plus the bake sale proceeds, may be needed by the Land Trust for their legal defense fund.

The Y Camp price of $730,000 was based on an appraisal that valued the land based on "hypothetical conditions" that the appraiser said were “known to be false.”

But the state wants another appraisal before it will release its $367,000, and the Land Trust sent the Planning Commission a letter asking for their help in coming up with a scenario for that new appraisal that is “plausible” yet still reflects nonexistent circumstances – e.g., that the land will be bought by a developer who will build houses on it, which ain’t gonna happen!

We’ll see on Wednesday whether the Planning Commission wants to take yet another step into the morass that the Y-Gate scandal has become. I lay odds of 60-40 that the Commissioners step in doo-doo again.

I think they just can’t help themselves.

This is how dark-sky friendly Town Hall is

The Dark Sky Ordinance will be tricky for the Commission. They have been working on it for years, yet their final work product was ordinance language that over-regulated, with proposed amendments that purportedly don’t regulate at all.

Lots of people spoke for and against the ordinance at the March 12 Town Council meeting. There seems to be a general consensus that Charlestown’s dark sky is an asset we all value, but opinions vary greatly about how to protect it. The ordinance has been sent back to the Planning Commission with two main options to consider.

One is to try to re-write the ordinance, but to do so, and to come back with an ordinance that will be politically viable, the ordinance will have to be so watered down that it will be virtually meaningless. Even if Planning tries to do this, they have pretty much blown their credibility on this issue. And if they produce a watered-down ordinance and convince the public that it will inconvenience no one, then why bother enacting a new ordinance? Catch-22.

The second option is to try to build on the consensus that the dark sky is good and that more people need to be part of the process of saving it by assembling a broad group representing the various interest groups in town. Perhaps re-starting with the key players at the table might produce a good result.

But I doubt the Commission will choose that option. The Planning Commission has displayed a consistently haughty attitude toward all other commissions; they take their counsel from the CCA, but ignore most other interests in town.

Even if the Planning Commission did express an interest in engaging other commissions and interest groups, their overtures would be viewed with suspicion.

But if you look at the documents the Planning Commission has attached to their Clerkbase documents on this topic, you’ll see some hints about what the Commission is likely to do on Wednesday.

I think the odds are about 90% that the Planning Commission will take the most aggressive and pugnacious posture they can.

I base that prediction on their inclusion of documents related to the Interior Department’s objections to placing municipal wind turbines and a lighted football stadium in Ninigret Park.

What does that have to do with the dark sky ordinance, you may wonder. Well, nothing, except this seems to be the way the CCA and the Planning Commission intend to distract attention away from their months of botched attempts at crafting a practical dark sky program.

I will go into detail about these Ninigret Park documents in separate articles. They are serious matters that warrant serious consideration – and they are not appropriate material to use as political footballs.

Well, that’s the preview, folks. Another month, another aggravating Planning Commission meeting and more mischief against the interests of most Charlestown residents.