By Stephen Greenwell
Must’ve Been a Darn Good Sandwich…
One allegedly intoxicated North Kingstown teen decided to take the “law” into his own hands after discovering that his brother had done the unspeakable — stolen and eaten his sandwich. The 18-year-old man came home later that night, reportedly intoxicated and “out of control,” to discover that a sandwich he had been saving for himself was no longer in the refrigerator, but in his brother’s digestive tract. According to reports, the teen sought his vengeance by slashing a tire on his brother’s car. The man allegedly fled the scene after assaulting a family member who tried to restrain him and went on the run for four days before turning himself in.
What Would You Do For a Klondike Bar?
In other food-related family feuds, another North Kingstown resident allegedly became enraged with his parents over missing receipts. His fury overtook him and he reportedly threw nearly $200 worth of frozen groceries (including frozen veggies and Klondike bars) over the seawall behind their home and into Narragansett Bay. When police arrived, the 48-year-old man allegedly refused to speak to officers and told them, “I’m enacting my first, fifth, ninth and fourteenth amendments.”
Voodoo Queen Seeing Double (Charges)
If Narragansett officers begin to notice sharp pains in the coming days, they may have one local “voodoo queen” to thank for them. Police had to arrest the self-professed voodoo queen twice in less than 24 hours this month on charges of disorderly conduct. The 48-year-old woman was allegedly found intoxicated on a bench outside of a liquor store proclaiming that she was the voodoo queen. (Police noted that the woman’s arms and face were painted.) The next day, the woman was found screaming in a parking lot down the road and appeared to be hallucinating. According to police, she appeared to be in a trance and was screaming, “Die (expletive), die, die!” Police brought the woman transported to South County Hospital for a mental health evaluation.
Man Takes on Five Officers (And Loses)
In this corner, one drunken angry passenger. In this corner, five Woonsocket police officers armed with Tasers. This was the scene last week as an allegedly intoxicated motorist flagged down an officer and then allegedly attempted to fight him and some of his fellow officers of the law. It all started when the man reportedly motioned to an officer driving by. After the officer pulled the vehicle over and realized the 27-year-old passenger appeared to be under the influence, he asked the driver and passenger for their IDs, allegedly prompting the man to harass him verbally. According to reports, the man struggled and struck the officer. According to reports, the officer tried to use a Taser on the assailant, but to no effect. Two more officers with Tasers who arrived at the scene also used the weapon on him with no effect. A fourth officer even tried pepper spray, but the man reportedly kicked it out of his hand. It wasn’t until a fifth officer arrived with another Taser that the man was finally subdued. He was charged with three counts of assault, one count of resisting arrest and one count of disorderly conduct.
Best Scapegoat Ever?
When all else fails, blame the guy in the top hat. Two Fall River men were arrested last week in Middletown on charges of receiving stolen goods. Police found the two bicycles that had been reported stolen an hour earlier. According to reports, the pair told officers they didn’t steal the bikes but rather rented them for $15 for four hours from a man wearing a top hat. When asked to describe the hat, one of the men told officers it was “a hat like Gilligan would wear.” No such man was found in the area.
Tequila + Kayaks = Poor Life Choice
Barrington police’s intervention may have stopped a bad decision from becoming an extremely bad decision. According to reports, police stopped a group of teenagers at 3:42 a.m. as they allegedlytried go kayaking – with a bottle of tequila. Police found the bottle in the passenger side seat of one teen's (an 18-year-old Barrington woman) car. The teen was charged with possession of alcohol while the rest (ages ranging from 15 to 18 years old) got off with no charges.
About this column: Every week, Patch takes a peek at some of the more surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout Rhode Island and Southeast Massachusetts.
Republished from the Narragansett - South Kingstown Patch.com