Friday, December 21, 2012

Santa's letters to Charlestown: Dear Paula

Dear Paula,

Watching for Santa
I have to keep this brief as I just found out that the Charlestown Planning Commission is seeking an FAA restraining order banning me –well, actually anyone except bats, birds, and waterfowl - from entering the air space above town.



Just got a fax from George asking for a cash advance on the Affordable Log Home Kits business so he can enter into a partnership with a couple of friends to purchase said air space as “open space.” That must explain the restraining order. That’s a relief, thought it was the other thing with the reindeer “effluent…”

Listen, I know you asked me to forego the gifting gig since the CCA handed you the Vice-President’s chair six weeks early, but I ran across a pair of items that I know you will find helpful. Make sure you at least try them out. Greg Avedesian ignored my advice and lived to regret it.

Sorry about the impersonal delivery system with the links, but it’s gotten to the point in your town where it’s best not to leave a trace of anything: finger prints, foot prints, ATM transactions, etc.

So enjoy the season. Everything is pre-paid. Just do the “One Click Ordering” thing and enter special code “Magi.” (Be careful while keyboarding lest you enter the code “Mageau” and serve yourself a summons to small claims court.)