Jail Cell Design &
Wrath of God
Man ‘Decorates’ Jail Cell
One arrestee took a page from Martha Stewart’s
book when he decided to do some redecorating in his jail cell.
Police arrested the 54-year-old North Kingstown man on charges of disorderly
conduct after he allegedly began yelling obscenities at his neighbor’s trailer
while under the influence. While in his cell at the police station, police
noticed that the man had discovered a new use for toilet paper as he was
hanging it from the cell bars in an attempt to prevent the surveillance camera
from seeing him.
The Threat of Divine Intervention
South Kingstown police had quite a time trying
to process a 42-year-old man after his drunken driving arrest this past week.
According to reports, the man smelled strongly of alcohol and was slurring his
words so much that his arresting officer couldn’t understand him.
Police were able to ascertain a few bits of dialogue
from the man, however, as he allegedly pleaded with officers to let him go and
said, “Look, we know I’ve been drinking but I’m not a bad man. You are making
me out to be a bad man.”
On the way to police headquarters, the man
also allegedly told police, “I’m a church-going man, I go to ****ing school.
God is gonna take care of you.” Not intimidated by the wrath of God, police
continued with the arrest and brought the man in to be processed. Due to the
man’s erratic behavior and lack of cooperation, officers were unable to
complete his booking until almost nine hours later.
We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together
We’re sure Taylor Swift’s latest song is
resonating with one Woonsocket woman this week. According to reports, she and her ex-husband were attempting to rekindle their
relationship when things went downhill. The ex-wife told police that
the man arrived at her home around 4 a.m. to talk.
The man then allegedly became violent when she
refused to let him take their daughter from the apartment, because it was late
and the man was homeless. According to reports, the man allegedly put his
ex-wife in a leg hold around her neck. He was charged with assault.
Unwrapped in the Candy Aisle
It seems that Hershey’s candy has a
stimulating effect on one Newport man. According to reports, a 49-year-old man
entered a 7-Eleven in Newport and asked the clerk where the Hershey’s bars were
located. As the man made his way down the aisle, the clerk realized the man’s private area was exposed.
According to police, the man “made no effort
to cover himself” as he walked back toward her. Police found the man, who
reportedly appeared to be drunk, outside the store. This is the man’s second
indecent exposure charge, according to reports.