Orange Alert!

Reprint: Dress Like a Pumpkin, Hunting Season in Progress

This is NOT Bob Yarnell

by Bob Yarnall

Hunting season starts on September 13 so we are re-printing Bob Yarnall's cautionary article from last year to try to perhaps prevent accidental carnage in our woodlands.

Just a reminder that as the hunting season continues, the Rhode Island DEM Division of  Fish and Wildlife requires that users of State Management areas (Burlingame, Arcadia, etc.) wear fluorescent orange clothing items. And by way of disclaimer, consider this an all-purpose public service announcement, as the level of micromanagement present in DEM regulatory policy makes our town government look like a fast food restaurant.

Every species of mammal and/or reptile, every land and water form, every category of ancient and modern weaponry, every descriptor of ballistics, projectiles, barbs, slings, and arrows in the state of Rho Dyland is subject to its own set of qualifying or disqualifying criteria. But if you don’t want to get your butt shot off over the next 9 months, here’s the all-purpose keep-it-simple paragraph you need to commit to what’s left of your memory, as excerpted from the RI DEM Fish & Wildlife 2013-14 Hunting Regulations:

10.6.8 All other users of State Management areas and undeveloped State Parks, including but not limited to hikers, bikers, and horseback riders, are required to wear two hundred (200) square inches of solid daylight fluorescent orange from the second Saturday in September to the last day of February, and the third Saturday in April to the last day in May, annually.

Now that I think about it, if you had planned to treat yourself to a leisurely stroll through the autumn woods on any of the magnificent trails crisscrossing our state management areas, exquisitely detailed on waterproof pocket maps superbly detailed by my fellow Syracuse Orangeman Cliff Vanover, you probably should have done it before September 14. My bad, I’ll be more “on point” next season.

Lastly, one DEM regulation that stands out like bucktail on blacktop, appears to pertain to Charlestown’s prolific kayak duo, councilor Dan Slattery and school committeeman Ron Areglado.

From the RI DEM Fish & Wildlife 2013-14 Hunting Regulations, - and no, I am not making this up – under the ironic subheading of “Prohibited Activities”…

1.5 Prohibited Activities:

1.5.1 Hunting, pursuing, or molesting deer below mean high tidal water, or while deer are swimming in any waters of the state is prohibited.

Gentlemen (and ladies), spare yourselves and the town a wave of statewide ridicule. 

Carrying appropriate protection such as a reliable GPS device and a 2013 tide chart (and using them when you need to) will go a long way to preserving and protecting the peace and tranquility to which both Charlestown retirees and Ocean State wildlife are entitled.

Be careful out there. Especially if you’re young and have a nice set of antlers.