Someone needs to explain to Greg Abbott where babies come from

Texas wisdom from Margaret and Helen*

By Helen Philpot

Margaret, I hear the fall colors up there in Maine rival the beauty of my spring wild flowers down here in Texas. Well, I find that hard to believe ’cause our wild flowers are mighty pretty. 

Maybe we’ll have to agree to disagree. But do you know what else I find hard to believe? That Texas could have a Governor more stupid than Rick Perry or even George Bush.

I shudder to think that Tweedle Dee followed Tweedle Dumb in our State Capitol, but this confederacy of dunces is only going to get worse if we elect Greg Abbott this fall. (For those of you who don’t live here, he’s our esteemed Attorney General who is running for Governor against Wendy Davis.)

Earlier this week, Abbott argued that the state’s ban on same sex marriage would reduce the number of babies born out of wedlock. Evidently, heterosexuals won’t have unprotected sex as long as Ellen and Portia can’t file jointly in Texas on the off chance they move here. Thank goodness because I had given up on the idea that heterosexuals would ever get on the condom band wagon. Bless his heart. Abbott can’t help being stupid, but he could have stayed home.

You know, my generation remained pretty quiet on the subject of homosexuality – mainly because we didn’t talk about such things. But, if truth be known, most of us probably were fine with the idea. 

What a shame we remained quiet as I am sure there were a lot of heterosexual marriages that would have been a great deal happier if they had not included a closeted homosexual in the union.

So why am I speaking up now? Well, I found out a few years ago that Margaret has a gay nephew and more recently that I have a gay grandson. So maybe it’s time I stopped letting social etiquette stand in the way of civil rights.

Mr. Abbott, you are a hate filled idiot who is about as useful as a milk bucket under a bull. The only thing that will reduce the number of babies born out of wedlock is comprehensive sex education in our schools. 

Clearly whatever you were taught is for shit if you think there is any correlation between same sex marriage and unplanned pregnancies. And for the record, if you have an issue with gay marriage, don’t get married to a gay person.

And if you don’t want another idiot as Governor of Texas, don’t vote for Greg Abbott. Vote for Wendy Davis. She knows where babies come from. I mean it. Really.

FOOTNOTE

* Margaret and Helen are life-time friends of 60 years and counting. Helen lives in Texas and Margaret is now living in Maine. They do a blog containing political commentary and humor coming out of the same Texas tradition as Jim Hightower and Molly Ivins. They are real people.