In yet another breathless press release from The Center for
Freedom and Apple Pie, I learned that the controversial RhodeMapRI plan will
call for the incineration of yourhouse. Right
down to the ground.
Be afraid. Very afraid.
Yes, it’s true, your nice comfortable suburban house, the one
you dreamed about for years, is to be sacrificed to build an affordable
housing skyscraper in its place.
After all, you’ll be commuting together on public
transportation, since the RhodeMapRI also envisions the end of private
automobiles. Your car is to be taken via eminent domain and resold to UN
bureaucrats, with the proceeds made available to help keep the subsidized
birth-control vending machines full in the lobby of your new home.
For those late to this party, the Center for Freedom and Apple
Pie has warned all of us about the impending danger to the state posed by
“RhodeMapRI” an insidious plan to end capitalism hatched within the bowels of
the Rhode Island Division of Planning.
The official Rhode Island Tea Party
similarly warns of the terrible peril, as do totally - 100% - they-promise
unaffiliated citizens like Colleen Conley and Gary Morse.
Just in time these citizen activists have alerted us to the
dangers within. The jack-booted planners ensconced in a Smith Hill building
made of — can you imagine! — pink marble,
have gussied up their world-domination plans with such appealing catch-phrases
as “sustainable development” and “affordable housing.”
You might think their
economic development plan looks like an appealing alternative to the plans of
the past. You might be distressed that “economic development” has always seemed
like a synonym for “give business whatever they want” and that it’s high time
to see economic development plans that actually take everyone into account.
You might even think that economic plans that emphasize
sustainability are precisely what our state needs these days. But that’s
because you’re just an ignorant patsy whose house is going to be burnt.
Remember, the only sensible government plans either benefit rich
people or are completely ineffectual. Aren’t you glad to have such patriotic
citizens as the folks at the Center for Freedom and Apple Pie to make sure
that’s true? I know I am.
EDITOR’S
NOTE: Our own local politicians in the Charlestown Citizens Alliance, as well
as Rep.-elect Fake Bilippi (I-Wingnut) also deem RhodeMap RI to be a
communist/United Nations plot. - WC
Tom Sgouros is a freelance
engineer, policy analyst, and writer. Check out his new book, "Checking the Banks: The
Nuts and Bolts of Banking for People Who Want to Fix It" from Light
Publications.