This
Christmas, put your money to better use than thoughtless gift-giving.
‘Tis the season for mindless consumerism.
I love giving gifts when they’re from the heart. But I hate
giving or receiving presents if they’re things nobody needs, given out of a
sense of obligation.
Here’s a story that illustrates what I mean. Back in college, a
friend of mine approached me and said, “I just want to give you a heads up, my
new girlfriend bought you a gift.”
Uh-oh, I thought. I didn’t even get him a gift,
let alone her. But without missing a beat, I replied, “Oh, that’s
so sweet! Well, I got her something too.”
Now I had to get them both something.
A week later, the fateful gift exchange took place. In place of
the candle and shower gel I gave, I received… a candle and shower gel. I don’t
know if they had any burning need for more candles and shower gel in their
lives, but I sure didn’t.
From my point of view, the three of us enacted a hollow ritual:
I ended up with some junk I didn’t need and the candle and shower gel
industries made a few bucks. Multiply that times many millions, and that’s what
happens each December.
When people find gifts that uniquely symbolize their friendship
or their gratitude for one another, that’s touching. It’s what gift-giving
should be.
A good gift sends a message: “I love you.” “I appreciate you.”
“You matter to me.”
That’s how I felt when a friend gave me the latest book from my
favorite author last year. I was overwhelmed with love. And I hope that’s how
my mom felt when I gave her a carefully selected a bird feeder and seeds to
attract her favorite birds (cardinals) while keeping away greedy squirrels.
A bad gift sends a message more like “I didn’t feel like putting
in any effort,” or “I felt obligated to get you something.”
The end result of thoughtless gift-giving is waste. Think of all
of the fruitcakes, ornaments, tchotchkes, and, yes, candles and bath products
that are produced and exchanged for no good reason.
Sometimes these items are given in thoughtful and loving ways,
like a panda-shaped ornament given to someone who collects panda bear trinkets,
or a Christmas decoration given to someone who lives for decorating for
Christmas.
At the other end of the spectrum, there are ornaments and
Christmas decorations given to Jewish, Buddhist, and Muslim people who don’t
celebrate Christmas. (Yes, that really happens. A lot.)
Each of these items requires materials to produce, more stuff to
package, and energy to ship. Plus, you spend money to buy these things to give
to people who have no use for them. What a waste.
The spirit of the season is wonderful. Its mindless consumerism
is not. This year, why not take back the meaning of our gift-giving tradition?
Before you give a diabetic a batch of sugary sweets, a Jew a
Christmas tree ornament, or anyone else something thoughtless and unnecessary…
stop. Think. And put your money to better use instead.
OtherWords columnist Jill Richardson is the author of Recipe
for America: Why Our Food System Is Broken and What We Can Do to Fix It. OtherWords.org