If you want to watch this video directly on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3Z5pAZe0E8
Sex sells. We all know that. As obsessed as America is with sex, we are also weirdly repressed by it. We’re fine with violence, and actively and unabashedly promote the idea that anyone and everyone should have as many guns as they want, however they want, no questions asked. The right-wing is particularly fond of pushing this idea.
However, they are also
obsessed with banning any and all sex, from pushing abstinence-only sex
education to banning all abortions. They are especially afraid
of gay sex. Well, thanks to that fact, what yogurt company Chobani has done in
their latest commercial is sure to make the heads of right-wing nut jobs
everywhere explode.
In the commercial, a
beautiful middle-aged woman wakes up nude next to her partner, who is also a
hot middle-aged woman. Boom! In your face, hot, naked, lesbians in the form of
a commercial sure to be aired all over the place on network television.
We all know what the right will say to this. They will say we are forcing the “homosexual lifestyle” down their throats. One Million Moms and their spin-off group will try to organize a boycott of Chobani just like they did when they found out Ellen was a spokesperson for JC Penney.
Franklin Graham will
pull all of his money from Chobani if he has any there and declare that they
are promoting immorality, just like he did when Wells Fargo had a pro-gay commercial with two lesbians adopting a little
deaf girl, only to put it into an even gayer bank, BB&T, which
is a platinum sponsor for the Miami Beach gay pride parade. Though, at this
point, he might be hard pressed to find a yogurt company gayer than Chobani.
Despite all of these
futile efforts to scare people into thinking that companies like Wells Fargo
and Chobani are helping those icky queers take over America and force all
anti-gay churches to close under threat of jail for pastors, members, and
anyone else on their side, or worse.
All these people are
really doing is accepting and embracing equality and freedom for all people,
which something all Americans should be in favor of.
Really, it should be a
fun spectacle to watch, as these relics from the age of the dinosaurs scramble
to scare their deluded base into trying to rise up against the LGBT community
and our supporters. In actuality, they are simply fighting a losing battle.
They likely realize it
by now, but it won’t stop this and other gestures of acceptance of
mainstreaming LGBTQ Americans from turning them into a frenzy of crazy. Pop the
popcorn folks, have a seat, and watch it all unfold.
I know this will fall
on deaf ears, conservatives, but hear this anyway: Some people are gay. Lots of
other people, companies, and entities accept that fact. Get over it.
Editor's note: learn more about Chobani Yogurt on their website.
Editor's note: learn more about Chobani Yogurt on their website.