Is your relationship with your Toro any business of the government’s?

Rep. Steve King: Same Sex Marriage Will Lead to People Marrying Lawnmowers

By Richard Zombeck

As long as the lawn mower is of legal age and is consenting....

Rep. Steve King, R-IA, probably the only sitting congressman who makes the rest of the Republican Party look somewhat sane, introduced GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee on Thursday by saying that the Supreme Court’s marriage equality ruling means that people can now marry lawnmowers.

As Matt Taibbi, of “Rolling Stone” tweeted:

“Iowa Rep. Steve King, introducing Huckabee, said gay marriage ruling now means ‘you can marry my lawnmower.’"

King made the comment at an Iowa campaign event for Huckabee on Thursday.

You would think that a comment like this would be a rare departure into insanity for a man who actually got elected to office, but you’d be wrong. 

In a July 7 article in an Iowa newspaper King elaborated on his bizarre interpretation of the Supreme Court’s ruling and his lawn mower fetish was just as prevalent then. It’s apparently been on his mind for a while.

I had a strong, Christian lawyer tell me yesterday that, under this decision that he has read, what it brings about is: It only requires one human being in this relationship—that you could marry your lawnmower with this decision. I think he’s right.

King’s past comments about immigrants give even The Donald a run for his money; he most notably referred to an undocumented immigrant who attended the State of the Union a “deportable” and made the comment that for every immigrant who’s brought to the United States as a child and becomes a valedictorian there are 100 more who become drug mules with “calves the size of cantaloupes because they’re hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert.”

Same-sex marriage has raised the possibility among Republicans that allowing such marriages would lead to, among other things, marriages to farm animals. Rick Santorum, R-PA, has raised his concerns that legalizing same-sex marriage would lead to “man-on-dog” relationships.

It now certainly begs the question as to whether the Ohio man shooting his neighbor in the head for mowing the lawn on July 28th was a lovers quarrel or a fit of jealous rage.

King however, is the first to suggest that same sax marriage would lead to power tool nuptials. It’s not clear as to whether he was referring to push, power, or riding mowers but whatever he meant I’m sure if it’s worth marrying, as Howlin’ Wolf sings, it’s built for comfort, not for speed.

Author Richard Zombeck is a freelance writer & featured blogger at Huffington Post. He’s much older and angrier than he looks. He’s got a Website,Twitter account and Facebook page. Follow him.