See
if you can find space for feelings — your own as well those of others — in
2016.
Last year, I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions. But it
appears that life made them for me.
Two changes occurred in my life, and I responded. In retrospect,
2015 produced more personal growth than perhaps any other year of my life.
The first change occurred shortly after New Year’s Day. After
months of therapy, I was able to feel my feelings in a more intense, genuine
way than ever before.
In the past, I’d tried to cut myself off from all unpleasant
feelings. It’s not fun to feel sadness, anger, or fear — and it’s inconvenient,
too. But they don’t go away when you do that. Repressing them isn’t benign at
all.
Now I’ve learned to recognize when I need to take the time to
address my own difficult emotions.
When you’re a busy graduate student with a long to-do list,
spending an evening taking care of yourself and focusing on your emotions is
excruciating. But it’s far healthier and more productive in the long run than
bottling them up — and it makes you a better friend to the important people in
your life.
The second change happened on the job. I was assigned a gig as a
teaching assistant for a class on race and ethnicity. As a white woman with no
academic background in the subject, I was bound to make mistakes and offend
some people. And I did.
