Instead of
bullying transgender people, here are a few laws that could actually make women
safer.
By
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A male Republican politician in my state of Wisconsin has
introduced a “bathroom bill” like the
one passed in North Carolina, which requires transgender people to use the
bathroom of the gender they were assigned at birth.
He says it’s to “protect women and children.”
Oh, knight in shining armor, thank you for trying to protect me
and my fellow women. But I fear you misunderstand the real issues women have in
restrooms.
- Ban men from leaving the toilet seat up, so we don’t fall in.
- Mandate that public restrooms never run out of toilet paper, so we’re not left stranded in stalls, fishing through our purses on the off chance we’ll find some tissues.
- Require establishments to make more bathrooms available for women, particularly in places like theaters — where everyone gets up to use the restroom at the same time, and men hurry in and out while women spend 10 minutes or more in line.
But those are, relatively speaking, all quite trivial.
Perhaps instead, you’d prefer to help with the bigger issues we
women face. In that case, my biggest concern is that I will, on average, earn
less than a man, even for doing the same job.
If you’re still intent on legislating values, though, how about
weighing in on some of these?
If I assert myself the way a man does, I’ll be seen as shrill.
Pursuing a PhD, as I’m doing, hurts my dating prospects among men intimidated
by my education — even as higher education is seen to make men prime marriage
material.
I was raised in a culture that communicated to me continuously
that my role as a woman is to be thin, beautiful, and passive, so that a man
can rescue me. And when dating, I’m forced to choose between seeming prudish or
promiscuous — both of which carry a social penalty.
I want to live a world where young girls are taught to be strong
and capable, just like little boys. Where a woman’s self-worth is not equal to
her clothing size, or her sexual availability.
And then there’s sexual assault, which brings us back to those
bathroom bills. I can provide some womanly advice there as well.
I’ve been sexually assaulted four times. On all four occasions,
I was with a man I knew. None of these assaults occurred in a bathroom, and
none of the assailants was transgender. They were simply people who wouldn’t
take no for an answer.
If you want to prevent sexual assault, dear knight, support
comprehensive sexual education and other programs to teach men about consent.
Have a talk with your male peers about not treating women like objects.
Bullying transgender people will have no effect other than harming an already
marginalized group.
In short, stop trying to legislate discrimination in the name of
“helping women.” Instead, pass laws that actually help women.
OtherWords
columnist Jill Richardson is the author of Recipe
for America: Why Our Food System Is Broken and What We Can Do to Fix It. OtherWords.org.
