Just following our national role model

Connecticut GOP Official Arrested for Grabbing Woman by the P***Y

By: Lauren Longo

Remember when Donald Trump bragged about being able to grope women and Trumpeters tried to brush it off as “locker room talk?” And how the rest of us worried that having such a man as our president would embolden other creeps to follow his lead? Well those fears have officially been realized.

Police arrested a 71-year-old GOP official in Greenwich, Conn., for literally grabbing a woman by the p***y. 

According to Greenwich Time, Christopher von Keyserling, member of the Representative Town Meeting, told a town worker, “I love this new world, I no longer have to be politically correct,” before reaching from behind her and pinching her genitals. He also said she was “nothing but a bloodsucking, lazy union employee.”

Welcome to the new world, where creepy old Republicans feel free to grab whoever they want wherever they want because that’s what the president does.

Local police charged Trump’s apprentice with fourth-degree sexual assault; he’s since posted $2,500 bond and is scheduled for court on January 25.

“It’s a sad situation,” von Keyserling told Greenwich Time before deferring to his attorney, Phil Russell, who called the assault “jocular.”

“There was a playful gesture,” he said, “in front of witnesses. It was too trivial to be considered anything of significance. To call it sexual assault is not based in reality.”

Obviously, the 57-year-old alleged victim didn’t find the incident trivial, and I don’t blame her. 

Woman are groped and grabbed every day, but just because those assaults are common doesn’t make them insignificant. The reality is that touching a person in an unwanted and sexual way is sexual assault. What is still confusing about that?

According to the police report, the assault was not a playful gesture or a jocular situation. Allegedly, von Keyserling and the female employee were talking briefly about politics when the conversation turned into a disagreement. The woman walked away and went into her office and von Keyserling followed.

When the woman tried to leave with her coworker so she wouldn’t be alone with the von Keyserling, he groped her as she walked past. When she threatened to punch him if he ever did that again, he said “it would be your word against mine and nobody will believe you.”

The victim was hesitant to come forward and didn’t want to file a criminal complaint, but changed her mind when she heard that von Keyserling had behaved similarly to other employees.

Von Keyserling’s attorney believes his client’s behavior was all in good fun, but here’s what we need to remember: No matter what the president-elect says, grabbing a woman’s vagina without consent is assault. It’s not jocular or locker room talk. It’s assault.