Identifying the Russian Bot in the field

I’m not sure what a Russian Bot is, but I hear it looks like an orange asshole with a bad comb over

By Helen Philpot

I’m mad as hell and I have a few things I need to get off my chest. 

First, and most important, how the hell do Russians dope in Curling? 

Do you down a fistful of Xanax before you gently push the stone across the ice?

And speaking of Russians, there is something called a Russian Bot messing with our elections. 

One of them goes by the name @RealDonaldTrump. Now I don’t know what a bot is, but I assume it looks like an asshole with a bad comb over.

For the love of man, do Trump’s Twitter followers have any decency? These kids are not actors. They are re-acting to watching their friends get murdered by an 18 year old maniac with an assault rifle. I hope that is something these so called Patriots never have to experience.

The GOP’s hypocrisy has no bounds. They can limit and restrict my right to an abortion or my grandson’s right to get married, but the right to own a gun is a sacred gift from God. 


Because we all know that if the disciples had AR-15’s, Jesus would have said, “Let’s blow the shit out of those damn Romans. Make Nazareth Great Again.” #MNGA

And we know these NRA bought and paid for politicians aren’t going to do a damn thing. If slaughtering elementary school kids didn’t create new laws, this won’t even faze them. And give me a break. 

Trump is all talk. No limits. No regulations. Bigger bullets. Longer barrels. Anything to make up for that tiny, orange carrot hanging between his legs.

We’re talking about arming teachers instead of un-arming children. We’re making plans to turn our schools into prisons rather than banning assault rifles from an unregulated, redneck militia. Somehow the solution to gun violence is more guns. Now that is some serious bullshit.

And when they are not attacking kids, these “Christians” are worshiping a golden calf. Actually it’s more orange than gold. And more fool’s gold than real gold. A foolish orange cow with a bad comb over. When they gave him a mulligan, they lost the moral authority they never really had.

Well, just like that precious Emma Gonzales, I call bullshit. The solution to gun violence is not more guns. And the NRA is not a membership organization for gun owners. It is a domestic terrorist organization for gun manufacturers. It buys politicians and then forever holds them hostage.

Margaret Mead once said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” #NeverAgain indeed. 

If my daughter will take me, I’m going to that march in DC. And if I get anywhere near that golden cow, I’m going to slap that comb over right off its orange head.

Bullshit. The whole Trump presidency is bullshit. I mean it. Really.

From Helen’s lifelong friend Margaret:

Never doubt that a small and ignorant group of Republicans can elect a President; indeed, with the help of Russia they already have.