September 3 and 4: find out if you have the right stuff to be a star

URI Theatre sets auditions for two fall plays

Tony LaRoche

The University of Rhode Island Theatre Department will hold auditions in early September for its two fall plays – A Brief History Of The Earth And Everything In It and She Kills Monsters. Auditions are open to the public.

Auditions for both plays will be held Sept 3 and 4, with all sessions at the Fine Arts Center, 105 Upper College Road, on the Kingston Campus. 

(See details, including call-back dates, for each play below.)

A Brief History Of The Earth And Everything In It (as performed by Ms. LoPiccolo’s Third-Grade Drama Group from the William Jennings Bryan Elementary School in Springfield, Missouri), by Dave Rabinow, will be staged Oct. 10-13 and 17-20. 

The play, which will be directed by Rachel Walshe with music direction by Jean Maxon, is being presented in conjunction with the URI Honors Colloquium.

Synopsis: How can third graders at William Jennings Bryan Elementary avoid “Level 3 Leviticus-Indefinite suspension” and save their school from their newly fundamentalist principal, who is now running for governor? A musical, of course! In a last-ditch effort, they hope their little show will convince him that science, math, music, art, and dance aren’t signs of the devil.

Audition details: Tuesday and Wednesday, Sept. 3 and 4, from 7 to 10:30 p.m. in G Studio at the Fine Arts Center. Call backs are Friday, Sept. 6, from 7 to 10 p.m. First rehearsal will be Sunday, Sept. 8, from 12:30 to 4:30 p.m. To sign up for an audition, call URI Theatre at (401) 874-5921, or register outside the Theatre Office on the second floor of the Fine Arts Center.

Auditioning actors should read the play and prepare and memorize a one- to two-minute comic monologue from a contemporary play. Material should deal with subjects such as God, religion, politics, and/or education.

Information on characters:

Note: All characters will be played by adult actors and many roles are open in terms of gender.

Dr. Godfrey Marsden: The principal; folksy and terrifying.

Ms. LoPiccolo: First-year, third-grade teacher; a believer in her students’ talent; easily manipulated.

Derek Palomino: Third-grade grade student; student body president; passionate, popular, and persuasive.

Maya Von Hoogen: Third-grade student; ambitious and driven; Derek’s girlfriend.

Mitchell Maxwell “Max” Horowitz: Third-grade student; lapsed Reform Jew; bluster conceals his natural timidity.

Presley Turtledove: Third-grade student; home schooled until this year; given to acting on impulse.

Turner MacKenzie: Third-grade British transfer student; befuddled and frustrated by the educational system in his adopted country; prone to raising his voice to make his points.

Mr. Denton: Shop teacher; masked.

Ms. Dorazio: Office secretary; masked.

Jesus: The religious icon; surprisingly cool; given to telling it like it is.

She Kills Monsters, by Qui Nguyen, will be staged Nov. 14-17 and 21-24. Madison Cook-Hines will direct.

Synopsis: Average Agnes never bothered to spend time with her nerdy little sister. In fact, she barely knows Tilly. 

So, when Tilly dies, Agnes, desperate with grief and guilt, uncovers Tilly’s last Dungeons and Dragons module and decides to play. 

She’s determined to push past demons and dark elves to find where Tilly’s soul surely hides. But the line between fantasy and reality is not so easily drawn. This hilarious ode to nerds and outsiders promises to unlock the warrior within us all.

Audition details: Tuesday and Wednesday, Sept. 3 and 4, 6:30 to 10:30 p.m. in the J Studio at the Fine Arts Center. Call backs are Thursday, Sept. 5, from 6:30 to 10:30 p.m. The first rehearsal is Tuesday, Oct. 1, from 1 to 4 p.m. To sign up for an audition, call URI Theatre at (401) 874-5921, or register outside the Theatre Office on the second floor of the Fine Arts Center.

Auditioning actors should read the play and prepare and memorize a one- to two-minute contemporary monologue. Bold, motivated physical choices are strongly encouraged.

Information on characters:

Agnes: A 25-year-old high school English teacher with an unexercised capacity for bravery. Conservative by nature, skeptical by choice, she leads a vanilla life. But, desperate times …

Tilly: A high school nerd. Agnes’ recently deceased little sister. A noble leader. A respected lesbian warrior. Sharp, self-possessed, and defensive. Until the cheerleaders show up. (Also plays Tiamat.)

Chuck: A high school nerd. The cheerful dungeon master. Awkward, but he thinks he’s smooth. Impossible to embarrass. Proud of his big brains. A good soul.

Miles: Agnes’ boyfriend, mid-20s. Genuinely supportive and a little spineless. Vanilla ice cream every time. Wouldn’t know a D20 if it jumped up his nose. (Also plays Gelatinous Cube.)

Lilith: A high school nerd. Lesbian Demon royalty. Fierce, fiery and formidable, she radiates power and has little patience for Agnes’ incredulity. (Also plays Tiamat.)

Kaliope: A high school nerd. A Dark Elf. Agile, serious, and incapable of human sarcasm. Devoted to the quest. (Also plays Tiamat.)

Orcus: A high school nerd. A Demon. Lazy, and proud of it, and determined to stay that way. Here for the people and the food. (Also plays Tiamat.)

Vera: A low-patience high school counselor, mid-to-late 20s, and Agnes’ best friend. Blunt, opinionated, and loyal, she runs every room she enters. (Also plays The Beholder.)

Steve: A high school nerd. A Mage. Intrepid, optimistic, and accident-prone. (Also plays a Bugbear and Tiamat.)

Evil Tina: A high school normal. A Cheerleader/Demon. The muscle. The bad cop. Short-tempered and always hoping to attack. Ideally, actor should be able to execute a convincing cheer or dance routine. (Also may play a Bugbear.)

Evil Gabbi: A high school normal. A Cheerleader/Demon. Sugar coated poison. The good cop. She’ll lure you in so Tina can choke you. Ideally, actor should ideally be able to execute a convincing cheer or dance routine. (Also may play a Bugbear.)

Farrah: High school age. A wee fairy. Short person complex. Compensates for her adorability with excessive violence. Actor should have some singing ability.

Narrator: High schooler. Our powerful, mysterious guide. 

URI Theatre is committed to equal opportunity and non-traditional casting. Productions strongly encourage any/and all students, staff, faculty or members of the community to audition and/or participate in URI productions. There is no discrimination based on sex, race, color, age, national or ethnic origin, sexual orientation, religion, gender, gender identity or expression, veteran and/or disability status.