Eviction Crisis Reaches White House
Pitiful Family Goods Dumped on
Pennsylvania Ave Sidewalk
By Mitchell Zimmerman
The owners of the coveted
Washington residence, the American people, callously served a 78-day notice of
eviction on the Trumps early in November, but Mr. Trump decreed the notice
invalid based on technicalities and filed 60 lawsuits to stave off removal. “No
one knows tenant-landlord law like me,” Mr. Trump said.
Nonetheless, a conspiracy of judges
inexplicably deemed the cases frivolous and lawyer Rudy Giuliani told his
tenant client nothing could halt the eviction.
When Mr. Trump still refused to
leave voluntarily, Federal police were obliged to pry his fingers loose from
the Resolute desk in the oval office, and six Secret Service officers strained
to lift the hefty former tenant. Screaming “Mine! Mine! Mine!” and
spasmodically squeezing his remote control, Mr. Trump was carried away.
A member of the White House kitchen
staff followed, picking up silver spoons and forks that were dropping from Mr.
Trump’s pockets.
The former tenant was deposited on
the sidewalk just outside the main gate. There stood a pathetic heap of the
distraught family’s goods – five sixty-inch television sets, a box of soiled
MAGA caps and Stop the Steal pins, Tiki torches, injectors for Lysol, Mrs.
Trump’s “I Really Don’t Care Do U?” jacket, Mr. Trump’s bible prop, and a stack
of pardons he didn’t have time to sign. “Where’s my nuclear football?” Mr.
Trump demanded.
Mitchell
Zimmerman