Right-wingers outraged against a federal two-beer limit that simply doesn’t exist.
This is Ted’s specialty, for he seems unable to deal with the real economic and social problems that workaday people actually have.
Thus,
he constantly tries to divert attention by staging embarrassing political
stunts, such as his furious fulminations against Big Bird, Mickey Mouse, and
other fictional characters.
Unable to triumph over them, however, Cruz is now
conjuring up entirely fictional conflicts to let him — a Harvard-educated
elitist — pose as a hero of working-class commoners.
Beer drinkers, for example. The Cruzer recently swooped
onto a Republican TV show, squawking like Chicken Little that Joe Biden
intended to restrict us Americans to only two beers a week!
Oh, the horror.
“What is it with liberals that want to control every damn aspect of your life?” squealed the senator — who, by the way, does want the government to control every woman’s reproductive rights, people’s voting rights, the rights of labor, what books people can read, etc.
But Ted’s in a tizzy over Biden’s two-beer limit. Only…
there’s no such thing.
Actually, Biden has said nothing about beer — zero,
zilch. Joe’s kinda busy. You know, Ukraine, global warming, health care… real
problems. So unlike the little senator from Texas, he doesn’t have time to play
political pickleball.
Embarrassingly, such other GOP officials as Iowa Senator
Joni Ernst have joined Cruz’s screwball crusade to stop Biden’s non-existent
Beer Bust. It’s like they all went to clown school to learn to be “senatorial.”
As for Ted, his non-stop series of nutty PR antics
reveals that he is to a real senator what near beer is to beer — only not
nearly as close.
